It’s a great day for travel insurance. Berkshire Hathaway Travel Protection is launching TimeCare™.
TimeCare is the first travel-insurance product designed to meet the special needs of time travelers. It uses the same technology behind BHTP’s other revolutionary travel-protection products — AirCare™, the industry’s first low-cost, fixed-benefit flight-protection coverage, and ExactCare™, traditional travel insurance with speedy, tech-driven claims processing — and takes it to a whole new dimension.
Literally. Like an entirely different dimension.
TimeCare handles the unique problems time travelers face by paying:
- $50 for teleportation to the wrong year;
- $50 for teleportation to the wrong destination on earth;
- $100 for teleportation to the wrong planet or galaxy;
- $100 for misteleported baggage;
- $500 for partial or split teleportation (example: your head and torso are sent to the 28th century, while your legs are sent to the Pleistocene Epoch); and
- $1,000 for teleportation to an unknown time-space continuum, including limbo. (Good luck collecting on that one, bucko!)
A special group benefit covers multiple travelers when they are inadvertently sent to different destinations, eras, or dimensions. And travelers who buy TimeCare within 15 days of their initial time-travel deposit receive additional benefits, including:
- Future destruction coverage, in case you do something stupid in the past that adversely affects the future;
- Ignorance-is-no-excuse coverage, in case something catastrophic happens while you are operating a speeder bike or an Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator; and
- An extra $1,000 if you are burned at the stake as a witch.
“TimeCare also comes with round-the-clock travel assistance – from any device, to any device, wherever in space and time you happen to be,” said John Noel, president of Berkshire Hathaway Travel Protection. “So if you travel back to the Ice Age and forget to pack enough warm clothes, or if you send yourself to the edge of the galaxy and forget to pack oxygen, just give us a call and we’ll put you in touch with a local furrier or the nearest welding-supply wholesaler.”
All this coverage comes with the technological innovations that are a BHTP hallmark, including “pic and a click” claims processing. All a traveler needs to do to start the claims process is send a picture of their covered situation using their smartphone. So whether they’re being chased by a T-rex or shooting a selfie with Cleopatra, one picture is all it takes.
“However, travelers to the Dark Ages should be aware that cell service is apt to be a bit spotty,” Noel notes.
In lieu of pic-and-a-click, other visual evidence will suffice for claims processing, such as an autographed photo of Leonardo da Vinci or a souvenir mace from the Battle of Hastings.
“Because we monitor all the major time-travel routes, so we’re able to settle many other claims before they happen, and pay people in the currency they specify, including shells and brightly colored beads,” Noel adds. “However, if they request payment in Yap stone money they’re responsible for transportation.”
To market TimeCare, BHTP has announced an agreement with Marty McFly to serve as spokesman. McFly was most recently featured in the Back to the Future series of movies and will appear on Dancing With The Stars 2030.
“McFly has everything we want in a spokesman,” Noel says. “He’s young, mobile, tech-savvy, and able to rip off a killer guitar solo at a moment’s notice.”
McFly will appear on behalf of TimeCare at selected events in 1885, 1955, and 1985.
TimeCare will be available through licensed time-travel professionals starting April 1, 2115.
“I’ve been in the travel-insurance business for nearly 30 years, and TimeCare will be the most revolutionary product this industry has ever seen,” Noel adds. “Of course, if you’d travel to the future you’d know that.”